The band, the group, the team, or the crew... all these terms refer to a group of people, which are, in general, our circle of close friends.
When we organize a group event, whether it's a sports outing, a week of skiing, or even just a party, we usually find the same group mechanics and unfortunately the same problems over time.
There are many forms of group, but generally it consists of several elements that we have been able to identify as follows:
This composition has an influence during the existence of an individual. Indeed, when we are in our younger years, we all tend to want to organize events with as many people as possible (you know the old adage "the more the merrier"). Conversely, the older we get, the more we tend to reduce the size of our groups. Once we're in our thirties, we can't count the number of trips and dinners between couples of friends, most of which are done with 4 or 6 people.
- Speaking of couples: each pair represents only 1 individual, which brings this kind of event down to 3 individuals, but this is another debate that will perhaps be the subject of another article -
To answer this question, I think we need to look back to our very first events. I am convinced that at the beginning we are all an organizer but that with time and experience, event after event, we evolve and become a different person, learning from our mistakes, developing our tastes, etc..
We observe a differentiation of genres. Some will remain and/or become more and more organized leaders, improving their organization processes, while others will become more passive, preferring to leave the design, organization and management of the event to others.
This personality differentiation as well as the reduction of the circle of people is induced by several factors:
The lack of commitment of the participants is, in my opinion, one of the first factors that leads to the reduction of the size of our groups over time.
The organizer of an event often spends a lot of time (and energy) getting all the information from the participants before starting to plan the event for the group (availability of everyone, choice of accommodation and/or activities to be done, budgeting, etc.).
This permanent expectation on the part of the organizer discourages many from repeating the experience - we have not yet reached the famous "Let's take the same ones and do it again".
This expectation is very often reinforced by the second factor: the indecision of the participants.
You know them all: those who don't have their schedule in mind, those who want to come with their spouse but are still waiting for their significant other's answer (usually because they haven't asked the question yet...), or those who wait until they have all the options in front of them to choose at the last moment what is best.
This type of person has the annoying tendency, voluntarily or not, to slow down the whole organization of a group (often for personal and/or financial reasons). This gives an image of "I'll wait and see before I get involved", which is detrimental to group cohesion. The group will end up rejecting this type of profile, like an organism that rejects a foreign body.
Last but not least is the lack of recognition felt by the organizer.
Once everything has been organized, paid for, and the group is finally at the activity site or in the accommodation, who has never received, as an organizer, remarks such as "Why didn't you take the other apartment more in the heart of the ski resort", or "You should have booked another car! "Not to mention the micro-criticism that can occur throughout the stay/event.
It is notable that those who are most critical are most often those who had little or no involvement in the development of the project... in the majority of cases, these are the ones for whom the organizer spent the most time gathering opinions, desires, budget, but generally did not get answers in time.
With all these parameters, we can easily put ourselves in the place of the organizer who, after having taken a considerable amount of time to collect information, propose ideas, and search for conveniences with all the individual constraints of the members, feels a great deal of frustration at the idea that he/she could be reproached for anything.
To conclude, we can say that with time, people who regularly organize for a group, no longer want to suffer the ingratitude of some or simply, in a process of improving the organization, do not want to waste time with people who are undecided, or who are not or not very grateful for the work done upstream.
It is clear that the human factor comes into play in the reduction of group size. And no one will blame those who want to make life easier, it is the nature of human beings since they invented the wheel to facilitate the transport of their goods.
Today and thanks to the technology present in our daily lives, we have the ability to find solutions for everything, and in this case, to find solutions that meet the needs of people who regularly organize events for a group. They allow to delegate the most time-consuming tasks, or those considered as ungrateful, related to the conception of an event, while simplifying the participation process for the whole group.
Photo by John Schnobrich